Grace for the Journey
Many people don’t associate the 2nd quarter of the year as a time for new beginnings. However, as I step into year 3 of being the Editor in Chief of SitiGirl Cincinnati, I am reflecting o the journey. Year one definitely does not look like year three. I have healed. I have grown. I have suffered set backs only to comeback stronger, wiser and better.
One of the many things I am learning on this journey is to give myself grace. This is an ever evolving journey. I have been so hard and unyielding on myself to be perfect that I have literally made myself sick from stress.
I had to be the perfect wife, minister, employee, daughter, friend, mentor, leader….If I was perfect then I was worthy of being chosen. If only perfect was able to be achieved in this finite realm we call reality. I learned that this striving for perfection was a direct result of unresolved, unhealed trauma from my childhood. Who am I without all of the titles and labels? Will I be accepted or be able to accept myself as just being Mariette? I have come to realize the void in my life needed to be filled by the love of God and in that love I would find my true identity.
You see I couldn’t find my true identity until I placed all of all of the things I have tried to piecemeal together for my life at the feet of Jesus. I’m learning to sit still and let God complete his perfect work in me. If anyone knows anything about me, they know the struggle it is for me to sit still, not try to figure out and have all the answers to my life. In my mind if I can run fast enough, I can outrun the pain of disappointment. I can outrun the pain of not feeling worthy. I can outrun the feelings of hopelessness of brokenness. If I just can keep running…..
Many of us will never receive the healing we so desperately desire because we won’t sit still long enough to be broken. Y’all I’m sitting in my brokenness and it’s uncomfortable. It’s downright painful but I know I cannot go not one more day, week, month or year without experiencing the freedom God promised me in his word.
So you see, SitiGirl Cincinnati is not just a magazine; it’s a movement towards a more inspired, empowered, and successful you. It is my hope that as these amazing women share their trials and triumphs that you will see them in you and that will encourage you to be all you were created to be. Come along on this journey with us, and let’s inspire now, together!
